Sol and Jesper talk to Kena about his whole "deal"
Kena, Sol, and Jesper are nestled in towards the back of the den. Jesper is sat down, pulling his socks away from his toes. His hood is down, but both the bells of his hood and collar jingle as he rocks back and forth in place. Sol is sat beside him, across from Kena.
Sol nudges Jesper, causing one of his bells to jingle. Jesper opens one eye, looks down to her, nods, and directs his attention back to Kena. Kena does not seem to notice this exchange.
Jesper: "Imp has question for Kena."
Kena: "Yes?"
"Imp wants to know... why is... hum..." (Jesper groans, trying to find the words.) "Why is Kena grumpy?"
"/Grumpy/?" (Kena's eyes dart to Sol, who is stricken with the sudden realization he knows who initiated this conversation.) "I am not!"
"No, no! Is not grumpy /now/! Is just... umm... does not have the words!" (Jesper is becoming visibly distraught, feeling pressured to reply quickly to Kena's escalating hostility.)
"Jesper is being bad bondmate!" (Kena stands up.)
Sol yelps in response to Kena's accusation. She falls forwards onto all fours, lowering her head to direct her horns threateningly towards Kena.
Sol: "Tell us why you are so upset all the time!"
Kena: "I am not!"
"You are!" (Sol rears her horns again.)
"Stop this! What is this, Sol? Are you going to hurt me? Why are you acting like this?"
Jesper is upset, whining, and pulling his ears down towards his body. Watching his best friends fight is not what he wanted to happen.
Kena isn't taking Sol's threat that seriously, but is offended at the notion.
Sol: "Yes! Show me your belly and I'll mangle you!"
Kena can read her well. He knows that there's a part of her quite serious, but another that is just playfully frustrated.
Sol: "Roll over! Show me your belly! I will tear you wide open!"
He relents, hurt by her aggression. He watches dirt fly into the air as she scratches into the earth with her claws.
Kena: "Jesper wanted to know?" (Kena softens, looking back to his other bondmate.) "Why I have this /sour attitude/?"
Jesper nods. Sol rears her horns again.
Kena exhales sharply before sitting down. This causes Sol to sit back on her bottom. Her cloth is misplaced, leaving her exposed. Kena reaches forward to fix it, which Sol allows.
Kena: "I do not have the words, like Jesper." (Kena points to him.) "It is something that has been on my mind, but I do not know how to say."
Jesper: "Is okay! Can say to bondmates! Is best friends to Kena!"
Sol: "Just tell us." (She nods in agreement with Jesper, sounding exasperated.)
Kena: "Every imp in this den is good for something."
Sol: "Yes, and you are our best fighter! The best hunter!" (She interrupts.)
Jesper: "Sol! Is okay!"
Kena: "I do not know how to say without offending you," (Kena lowers his glance, but locks eyes with Sol. Her attitude drains.) "but I had just been given the responsibility to watch over us at night---to be our best---when I was told you watch you instead."
A knot forms in Sol's stomach.
Kena: "I thought Ona was punishing this one." (Kena points to himself.) "I thought it was because I did not do enough, contribute enough for us."
Tears well up in Sol's eyes as a pain in her chest begins to become too much. She says his name beneath her breath. Jesper pulls her in close, telling her "is okay".
Sol: "Ona told me that you would bring out my potential! So I am not just in the den!"
She's squirming a bit to be released from Jesper's grasp, but Jesper tolds her tight against him.
Kena: "Jesper," (Kena laughs.)
Jesper chuckles to himself and finally frees her. Sol is snatched up by Kena and held in an embrace they'd both desperately needed.
Jesper: "Is sorry---hehehe."
Kena: "I thought I was not doing enough." (He looks down to Sol in his arms, showering her with small affectionate kisses that he'd learned from Jesper.)
Jesper: "Oh!!!" (Jesper stands up, excited.) "Kena used to say---used to say, um, imp is like... is /strange/ imp! /Strange job imp/! But Kena is like job imp, too! Likes to have job, to be happy with job! Is different job than Jesper---hehehe---is not like, mmm, finding worms for Friend Yarrow---is to protect wild imps! Is same! Kena is like job imp!"
Sol: "Ohhh, Jesper is right, Kena."
Kena: "Is... is not like that at all." (Kena becomes flustered, his face growing redder than usual. Sol is ecstatic to witness this.)
"It is! We all have a role! That is very much like a job!"
"Not every imp has a role."
Kena fights over semantics with Sol for awhile before giving up, ending in laughter. Jesper winds up sitting beside the two of them, pulling them both up into his grasp.
I think the reality of Kena's feelings is that he had just been put in charge and rewarded for his brutality and strength, both physically and what was perceived of him, and he took a lot of pride in that. When Ona put him in charge of raising Sol, he thought he was being punished or demoted in some way. It bruised his pride and ego a bit, and he always felt he needed to prove himself worthy again.
Instead of viewing being handed Sol as... "you're our best guy, you're gonna give her the best shot at being self-sufficient and useful than anybody else here", it translated to, "here, take care of this, we'll have others do what you do in the meanwhile."
It's been something that's been churning in his lil head for awhile now, but has sort of died down since Sol is now able to take care of herself. But that hurt pride remained and left him feeling like he constantly has to prove himself. The den also views him as the strongest, which leans into why he's really hesitant to be seen in more vulnerable scenarios with Sol, but especially Jesper.
Been listening to Deftones' Battle-Axe, and apparently the lyrics are about a toxic, deteriorating relationship, but who isn't to say the relationship in the lyrics aren't about oneself...? Been thinking they are very Kena in that context.
I want to sleep / If you are awake / Still making believe / That you aren't at all crazy
And if you don't believe I think you should / You'd make me so proud / Still you love to think you have always been this way / But you're all wrong
And you only sleep / When you've lost cause / Well I still believe / That the cause was always me
And if you don't believe I think you should / You'd make me so proud / Still you love to think you have always been this way / Well I'd love to think you will someday feel the same
And you love to think it will always / If you still believe it will always be this way / Well you're all wrong