Thoughts on Sol (expanded)
Been having some thoughts about Sol that I wanted to get down. I don't want to make anybody overly complicated or downtrodden with a bunch of angst, but there's some little things that have piled up for her since I've first had her pop up.
First thing's first, just to jot it down:
Sol is five or six years old.
I've been considering that they reach sexual maturity around 3, and despite writing about Sol having a heat cycle in the past, have been contemplating her not having one at all leaving her feel even more confused about her gender.
In contrast, Kena is nearing 10. I want to guess that late 30's would be quite old, but not uncommon, let's say our mid 70's.
She no longer has functional wings, even though that's not new, it's changed from some of my earliest writing. Her left wing was never formed, but the right wing has a very small bony nub. If she tries really hard, she can move it a tiny bit. Because of this, Sol is the only imp who can actually lay on her back. (Been thinking most curl up like a cat on their bellies or lay on their sides... was looking up how fairies sleep according to art on google images...)
Her whole backstory is still a bit of a vague mystery to me... I mostly have it now as another nearby cluster of imps are pretty freshly established, and still getting their bearings when one of them has a baby. For whatever reason, Sol is born a little different than most and needs extra attention which takes more resources from the group. They don't want to risk their safety, so they offer her up to the cluster closest to Yarrow, who have decent numbers by this time. Kena takes her to their elder, Ona, and two female imps who'd recently had children are asked to take in Sol. When she's old enough, Kena, who hasn't made any bondmates, is tasked with guarding her and eventually the two start their own little bond.
Grooming and mating are two important things to wild imps... Both are either group or bond activities, and both can mean something a little different. Grooming/mating with your bondmate is obviously a little more intimate than someone outside of your bond, but still promotes a healthy environment for the group as a whole. Generally, all the imps get along and are friendly with each other, just some closer than others.
But this whole thing kind of leaves Sol feeling outcast... Ona has declared that Sol is not permitted to mate because of her (small) size, and fears she wouldn't survive childbirth. Except nobody including Sol even knows if she could even have a child. The fact that she hasn't started her reproductive cycle is even more confusing for her because, is she just late to start it or will she never have one?
Imps are a big fan of biting/nibbling with both grooming and mating, but Sol, again, is viewed as too small and fragile, and isn't allowed this either.
Kena generally doesn't engage sexually with the other imps too often, and imps aren't known for jealousy in this regard, but on the off chance that Kena does mate with another imp, it leaves Sol frustrated.
They haven't spoken about it, but to her, there are other things that are not penetrative that Sol could do, but Kena has not shown interest. Kena is someone who has high respect for Ona and her rules, and has sort of a black and white approach to it, and believes that doing anything else is some sort of loophole that could be punishable. Jesper and Sol engage in this "loophole" openly, with Kena present at times, and yet he has no objections, so I feel like he's got some sort of. Personal ruleset or something he feels as though he'd be breaking. I feel like when Sol actually confronts Kena about this, he'd be willing to engage, he's just, weird. But I also don't think he realizes it's something that gets to her.
Kena has a very strong presence in the cluster... He's one of their best warrior/hunters, and is amongst the most authoritative and commanding. Because of this, it only contributes to the others thinking Sol is "off limits" since Kena is bonded with her. This means that during mating or grooming events, Sol is not engaged with in any way. The group that Sol and Kena sometimes merge with, Nona, Lon, Nia, and (??? Suddenly cannot remember if there's a fourth but I was thinking about adding an Una, so we can add her here), are closest with Sol, so Nia and Nona are the only other ones besides Kena to groom her.
Prior to Jesper popping up, I think Sol had just accepted that this was how things were and didn't put much thought into it. Jesper and her grow attached relatively fast and have some sort of understanding due to their differences. He's happy to do the things with her others won't, provided it's not going to get him into any trouble. Ona has observed Sol and Jesper for some time before having a conversation with Jesper, in which she basically thanks him for being delicate with her and good with the others and for all the good and supplies he's brought to them and their den. (A subject to write for another time.)
But ultimately, Jesper popping up is what first made Sol realize she was even having these conflicting, frustrating feelings. About her gender, her cycle, why she's inadvertently ostracized... And it sucks too because the others would all fight for her and protect her, the group cares a lot about her, but between Kena being kind of in their way, and Sol just naturally being a little small, most decide it's safest to leave her be.